Oscar Season!!!!!

Hey kids, it's Oscar season, and you know what that means!!! That's right, NOTHING!!! Oscars are stupid! I haven't watched them in years, but I do try to see movies that get critical acclaim and I know that we don't all have time to go see every movie that Oscar might bless this year. So, we've decided to do some summaries. We'll start with Best Picture and go from there(translate: probably stop there). I will not summarize Good Night and Good Luck as it's the second best movie I saw this year(asterix) and you should spend your fucking money you lazy fucking assholes.

CRASH

by: Paul Haggis

The movie opens with a shot of Los Angeles.

Scene:
Two people of the same race are in a room.

Guy: I'm not racist.

Guy2: Me either

A different race person comes in.

Guy: Oh no, a Mexican!....oh my god, I guess I am a racist.

Mexican Guy: Man, that guy was a racist, I wish there wasn't so much racism.

The mexican guy leaves. We follow him into the street. He sees a black guy.

Mexican Guy: Hey, F you, black guy.

Black guy: You racist.

Mexican Guy: Oh my god, I thought that I didn't have anything wrong with me, but I do.

Black Guy: Man, I hate racial stereotypes.

Black guy carjacks rich people.

Rich people: Stupid black guy.

The rich people go home. The rich lady doesn't like her maid because her maid is mexican and that reminds her of the black guy. The rich lady falls on her stairs and her maid helps her.

Rich Lady: Wow, I guess Mexicans really can be helpful.

Meanwhile, the black guy that carjacked the rich people sells the car and then hangs out with his other friend and they talk like black people.

We see a shot of Los Angeles.
The End

Whenever I think about this movie I think of that MTV diaries show. The one where some ridiculous pop star takes you through a day in their life. And the catch phrase is: "you think you know, but you have no idea." And these poor pop stars are forced to look into the camera and say this, but the thing is they don't think of themselves as "poor pop stars" they think that it's a really cool thing to say. So all of a sudden Pink is on your television screen saying 'you think you know, but you have no idea' and she's acting really hard, and like she really is giving you some sort of revelation and all you can think about is how retarded she sounds. That's what Crash was like for me. Just a guy on my television screen saying: You think you know, but you have no idea...and I can tell that he thinks he's sounding really cool and hard and knowledgable, but really he sounds like Pink.

(asterix) first best was Squid and the Whale, please apply aggressive statement about seeing this movie here.